Communication – ‘Clean’ Language


Mar 07 2016

Communication is key; you don’t have to be a coach to know that! Then why is it that ‘misunderstandings’ or ‘misinterpretations’ are still one of the biggest causes of conflict ?

Many of us hear what we ‘think’ we are going to hear and very often only listen for that which supports ‘our thinking’ – our preconceived idea of the facts or situation, rather than the other persons’ view or thoughts, their actual words.

This is where it gets tricky – because if we all speak the same language – what’s the problem? Why the misunderstandings?

Here is an approach that has completely changed my ability to listen and understand – Its called ‘Clean Language’.

I’ve learnt to question, with genuine curiosity, what somebody means when they speak. I resist assuming I know what they mean, I hold back from presupposing their meaning. I take time to listen – let them finish and then check out what’s been said.

Using ‘their exact words’ I explore their meaning………….

“So you said you were frustrated frustrated in what way?”

“You said you were disappointed with the team – what was is about the team that caused you to feel disappointed? Tell me more.”

I always understand more when I take the time to use ‘Clean Language’ – language that in no way presupposes I know the answer.

As a coach this approach is invaluable to me – and as wife, mother, and colleague it’s equally valuable in all the conversations I have every day.

I am often amazed at what I get in response to my questions – not what I was expecting and certainly not my view or interpretation.

So the next time you are dissatisfied with a conversation with a member of your team or colleague, take some time to think through what was said and what you actually understood. Did you really ‘get it’ or did you ‘hear’ what ‘you thought they said’.

If you would like to explore this approach more, then please contact me.

Annie.

  • “Annie is an exceptional coach, mentor and trainer/facilitator. Having attended one of her courses on coaching and mentoring I was fortunate and privileged to be able to join her as co-coach for further training and saw for myself the dedication and attention to detail she puts into her work. Her heightened sense of perception ensures that everything she does meets the needs of those around her. Annie is highly motivating and always shows an innate belief that each of us has the potential to achieve our goals, especially when we think we can't! She is professional and a role model for a "can do" attitude and continues to inspire me in my coaching.”

  • “Annie is the consumate professional. She provides measurable Executive Coaching interventions in a very personable style.”

    MD of Utilities Company
  • “Annie balances a professional approach with a warm and caring attitude, and this is evident in the workshops we have run together. She is fun to work with and focuses on generating great results for her clients.”

    Development Consultant
  • “Annie is an engaging, authentic and warm hearted workshop leader. She is the consummate professional in that she delivers to the brief, exceeds expectations and has boundless energy and enthusiasm that captures the attention and interest of the participants. As an executive coach, Annie truly connects with her clients and brings her wealth of knowledge and experience to the sessions which ensures clients leave feeling that they got great value and are able to achieve exceptional results.”

    HR Director IT Company
  • “I have worked with Annie as a client both professionally in my capacity of Learning and Development Director at Centrica and personally as a professional, personal to me on a coaching programme. Annie is empathetic, professional and a great coach, I would recommend her to any client or company.”

    Learning & Development Director, Centrica
  • “The coaching was excellent and I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to grow in their professional environment.”

    Director at Open University
  • “The coach was very relaxed and could immediately empathise with any given situation, whilst being able to give constructive help. Annie very quickly grasped where my strengths and weaknesses lay and could gauge challenging situations very well – only an experienced coach can do this.”

    MD Financial Services
  • “Annie’s challenges enforced reflection on my thought processes and therefore my behaviour patterns. A very satisfying experience.”

    Director Open University
  • “Quantum have provided a very professional and friendly service. The requirements we have requested have been very specific and individual to our companies needs, and Quantum have gone out of their way to understand these requirements and organise and develop the training accordingly. Annie Richardson is always very professional and is also well received by all those who attend her courses. Quantum is a delight to work with and I would strongly recommend their services to anyone wishing to develop their company’s development initiatives further.”

    ICRH Group Leader, Culham Centre for Fusion Energy
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