How do you deal with Conflict?


Oct 12 2015

This wasn’t in my schedule of blogs, but it has reared its ugly head……… and perhaps is the best follow-on from my blog on Feedback!

So, conflict, how do you handle it? Do you tackle it ‘head-on’? Or avoid it, and hope it goes away? (It rarely does).

The reality is that we are all different – with different personalities, needs, values, backgrounds, positions, and agendas. Meaning conflict in life is inevitable. And for those of you who think that you have never experienced conflict before, I’m afraid you are either in denial, or just not recognising it.

We have all heard the saying that conflict is healthy and that it can help to stimulate valuable conversation and even ‘clear the air’ –but I want to get past that trite statement and look a bit deeper into what is actually going on.

Lets respond to ‘how do you handle it’?

Do you respond ‘constructively’? – Are you able to consider different perspectives, create solutions, express emotions and reach out? – All of which are active responses. Do you also have the capacity to reflect, delay responding, and adapt? – All passive responses.

Do you respond ‘Destructively’? – Winning at all costs, displaying anger, demeaning others, and retaliating? –  All active responses, as you can see active does not necessarily mean positive.  Do you also avoid, yield, hide emotions, and self criticise? – All of which are very passive responses.

Do you have enough self-awareness to recognise your own ‘hot buttons’? –  And by that I mean are you aware of those people and situations that are most likely to upset you and potentially cause conflict to occur.

And with awareness and self-control can you consciously choose your actions and behaviours?

My experience is that good leaders are comfortable to handle conflict and have worked out what works and what doesn’t. It is subjective, to each and everyone of us yet I have found that balance is key.

If you want to know more about your own ‘conflict dynamic profile’, then please get in touch. Why not also carry on conversation via twitter? You can follow me here.

Annie

 

  • “Annie is an exceptional coach, mentor and trainer/facilitator. Having attended one of her courses on coaching and mentoring I was fortunate and privileged to be able to join her as co-coach for further training and saw for myself the dedication and attention to detail she puts into her work. Her heightened sense of perception ensures that everything she does meets the needs of those around her. Annie is highly motivating and always shows an innate belief that each of us has the potential to achieve our goals, especially when we think we can't! She is professional and a role model for a "can do" attitude and continues to inspire me in my coaching.”

  • “Annie is the consumate professional. She provides measurable Executive Coaching interventions in a very personable style.”

    MD of Utilities Company
  • “Annie balances a professional approach with a warm and caring attitude, and this is evident in the workshops we have run together. She is fun to work with and focuses on generating great results for her clients.”

    Development Consultant
  • “Annie is an engaging, authentic and warm hearted workshop leader. She is the consummate professional in that she delivers to the brief, exceeds expectations and has boundless energy and enthusiasm that captures the attention and interest of the participants. As an executive coach, Annie truly connects with her clients and brings her wealth of knowledge and experience to the sessions which ensures clients leave feeling that they got great value and are able to achieve exceptional results.”

    HR Director IT Company
  • “I have worked with Annie as a client both professionally in my capacity of Learning and Development Director at Centrica and personally as a professional, personal to me on a coaching programme. Annie is empathetic, professional and a great coach, I would recommend her to any client or company.”

    Learning & Development Director, Centrica
  • “The coaching was excellent and I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to grow in their professional environment.”

    Director at Open University
  • “The coach was very relaxed and could immediately empathise with any given situation, whilst being able to give constructive help. Annie very quickly grasped where my strengths and weaknesses lay and could gauge challenging situations very well – only an experienced coach can do this.”

    MD Financial Services
  • “Annie’s challenges enforced reflection on my thought processes and therefore my behaviour patterns. A very satisfying experience.”

    Director Open University
  • “Quantum have provided a very professional and friendly service. The requirements we have requested have been very specific and individual to our companies needs, and Quantum have gone out of their way to understand these requirements and organise and develop the training accordingly. Annie Richardson is always very professional and is also well received by all those who attend her courses. Quantum is a delight to work with and I would strongly recommend their services to anyone wishing to develop their company’s development initiatives further.”

    ICRH Group Leader, Culham Centre for Fusion Energy
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